Thank You for Submission and Request for Revision
10/15/2017
Dear
The speech that you submitted to me for presentation at John Franklin’s retirement party is excellent with one
minor exception. In as much as John is somewhat sensitive about his age, I feel that it would be inappropriate to make any reference to this fact. I would appreciate it if you would delete those sections in Paragraphs 6 and 7 which specifically comment about his age and/or employ the words “golden years”, and find a suitable substitution. Once again, the speech is very well written. Thank you.
minor exception. In as much as John is somewhat sensitive about his age, I feel that it would be inappropriate to make any reference to this fact. I would appreciate it if you would delete those sections in Paragraphs 6 and 7 which specifically comment about his age and/or employ the words “golden years”, and find a suitable substitution. Once again, the speech is very well written. Thank you.
